Parents in childhood taught: do not scandal, do not fight. And I obediently performed. But then I knew how to fend for myself. Everyone in the yard was afraid of me, I was an authority. I was not afraid of anyone.
That re-educated, became a “normal” obedient child. And to whom it became easier from this? Definitely not for me. It’s very hard for a non-scandalous person to live. Where you need to arrange a thrashing, I am silent, I release everything on the brakes. Where you need to intercede for your child, I ask him what he answered, and that’s it. Even if the child is right, but those around him are always posing as if he were to blame. Who should stand up for him, if not me? Who should set an example for him? And again I lower the brakes. Here he is a sad example of “right” education.
Just how to live with it. I’ve been trying to become bolder all my life. In a conflict situation, the decision comes the next day or two at all. And you need to react with lightning speed so that you and your child are remembered and do not want to offend anymore. And I’m not like that, I’m not an authority, and there’s nothing to be proud of.
I understand that parents cannot be blamed. They always want the best. But the saddest thing is that I see their qualities in myself. I also bale my child, developing shyness and timidity in him. My qualities. Everything is interconnected.
Need to break this circle. Develop self-confidence and worry less. About everything around. And give the child more freedom. By trusting and supporting him, you can cultivate a strong personality. Confident person.
And how do you live with this, who is as shy as I am?